Stage 4: Strategy | Self-invention

You've spent the first two steps looking inward: who you are, what you care about, where your strengths sit. Now it's time to turn outward and figure out what you actually want to do with all of that self-knowledge.

A bucket list sounds simple. Write down what you want before you die. But most people's lists are either too vague or borrowed from someone else's idea of a good life. The version you'll build here is different and, most importantly, unique to you. It'll be grounded in the values, strengths, and patterns you've already mapped.

Think of this as a brainstorm with guard rails. The self-knowledge from Stages 1 and 2 acts as a filter. When you write down "learn to sail," you can check it against your values and energy patterns. Does it fit? Does it pull you toward the life you're designing, or is it something you think you should want?

There's good research behind why this works. Psychologist Laura King found that people who write about their "best possible future selves" in vivid, concrete detail show measurable gains in well-being and goal progress. The act of imagining a specific, desired future changes how your brain processes the present. You start noticing opportunities that match your written vision. You filter out noise that doesn't.

So don't rush this. Write the obvious ones first, then keep going until you surprise yourself. The best items on your list will be the ones you didn't expect to write down.

What research says

Working identity: change through doing

Herminia Ibarra, professor of organisational behaviour at INSEAD, spent years studying how people actually change careers and identities. Her book Working Identity (2003) argues that people who successfully reinvented their professional lives do so by "trying on" provisional selves: small experiments where they can test new roles, new behaviours, and new ways of being. They didn't sit at home journaling until they had clarity. They got out into the world and tried things. Clarity came from doing, with reflection layered on top.

The practical implication is this: you don't need to figure out who you want to become before you start acting. You start acting in small ways, and the identity catches up. This is important to remember as we will cover this again a little later in this course.

Growth mindset and the belief that you can change

Carol Dweck's research at Stanford, published in her 2006 book Mindset, draws a line between fixed and growth mindsets. People with a fixed mindset believe their core qualities (intelligence, talent, personality) are set, whereas people with a growth mindset believe those qualities can be developed through effort and practice.

The connection to self-invention here is direct. If you believe you are who you are and that's that, you won't bother trying to become someone different. Self-invention requires the belief that identity is malleable. Dweck's decades of research confirm that it is, and that the belief itself changes what you attempt.

Identity-based habits

James Clear's Atomic Habits (2018) builds on a simple idea: every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become. The most lasting behaviour change comes from shifting your identity first, then building habits that match.

Clear distinguishes between outcome-based habits ("I want to run a marathon") and identity-based habits ("I'm becoming a runner"). The identity version sticks because each small action reinforces who you believe you are. Run once, and you're someone who runs. When you run a second time, that vote gets stronger. You don't need willpower or motivation - you need repeated small actions that cast votes for the identity you're building.

Possible selves

In 1986, psychologists Hazel Markus and Paula Nurius introduced the concept of "possible selves": mental representations of what a person could become. These include hoped-for selves (the person you want to be), expected selves (the person you think you'll realistically become), and feared selves (the person you're afraid of becoming).

Their research showed that possible selves function as powerful incentives for behaviour. When you can vividly imagine a hoped-for self, it pulls you toward action. When you can vividly imagine a feared self, it pushes you away from certain choices. Both are useful.

The exercises in this worksheet ask you to work with your hoped-for selves directly, turning them from vague mental images into specific, actionable identity experiments.

Exercises

Access your Notion workbook here.

Exercise 1: The identity inventory

This exercise maps your identity across time. You'll look at who you were, who you are now, and who you're becoming. Use your findings from Stage 1 (self-knowledge) and your vision from Stage 3 for this.

The "past self" column might feel uncomfortable, while the "becoming" column might feel ambitious, and both are good signs.

For each of the following answers, who you were (past self), who you are now (stage 1), and who you're becoming (stage 3):

• Core traits

• Values you live by

• How you spend your energy

• What you say yes to

• What you say no to

• How others see you

• How you see yourself

Once you've filled this in, look at the movement from left to right. Where do you see the biggest shifts? Where are you already on your way? Where are you stuck?

Exercise 2: The identity gap

Pick six qualities that matter to your self-invention and rate where you are now and where you want to be on a scale of 1 to 10. The gap between the two scores is your working material.

Note that the qualities below are suggestions. Feel free to replace any of them with ones that feel more true to your situation.

• Creative confidence - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

• Financial courage - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

• Emotional honesty - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

• Physical vitality - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

• Professional boldness - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

• Relational vulnerability - current (1-10) - desired (1-10) - gap (d-c)

View large gaps as signals about where your energy wants to go. Small gaps might mean you're closer than you think, or they might mean you're playing it safe with your desired score.

Exercise 3: Provisional selves

This exercise comes directly from Herminia Ibarra's research. The idea: you don't discover your next identity by thinking about it. You discover it by trying things on, the way you'd try on clothes. Some will fit, some won't. The point is to run the experiments.

Pick three identity shifts from your work in Exercises 1 and 2. For each one, design a small, low-stakes experiment you can run this week:

• The identity you're trying on;

• One small action a person with each identity would take this week;

• How you'll know if it fits;

The action should be small enough that you could do it tomorrow. "Become a public speaker" is a goal. "Record a 2-minute video explaining one idea I care about" is an experiment. Keep it concrete and, most importantly, doable.

Don't skip the "How I'll know if it fits" part. Pay attention to how you feel during and after the experiment. Energy, resistance, excitement, dread: these are all data you need. If something feels alive, lean in. If it feels forced after a genuine effort, let it go and try the next thing.

Exercise 4: The identity declaration

Write 5 to 7 statements that begin with "I am becoming someone who..." as concrete declarations of direction. They describe the person you're actively moving toward, based on everything you've worked through so far.

Good declarations are specific. "I am becoming someone who is happy" is too vague. "I am becoming someone who protects her mornings for creative work" is something you can actually act on.

Write your declarations and then let them sit overnight before you finalise them.

I am becoming someone who...

Reflection

Sit with these after finishing the exercises:

• Looking at your identity inventory: what surprised you most? Where did you notice the biggest shift between past and present?

• Which identity gap score did you hesitate on the most? What made it hard to rate?

• Of the three provisional selves you picked, which one excites you? Which one scares you? (Those are often the same one.)

• Are any of your identity declarations things other people want for you, rather than things you actually want for yourself? Be honest.

• What would you need to let go of to fully step into the person you're becoming?

• If you were already that person, what would you do tomorrow morning differently?

AI companion (optional)

How to use: Use this after completing all four exercises. Have your filled-in worksheets nearby so you can reference your answers during the conversation. The AI will help you find the identity shifts that matter most and pressure-test whether your experiments and declarations are genuinely yours.

Copy and paste the prompt below into Claude, ChatGPT, or any AI assistant:

I'm working through a self-invention exercise as part of a life design course. I've completed an identity inventory (mapping who I was, who I am, and who I'm becoming), rated myself on key qualities and identified gaps, designed three small identity experiments, and written identity declarations. I'd like your help going deeper. Ask me one question at a time about:
(1) what patterns I see across my identity inventory, especially where I've already changed and where I feel stuck,
(2) which identity gap feels most charged for me and why,
(3) whether my provisional selves experiments feel genuinely exciting or just "should" experiments, and
(4) which of my declarations I believe most and which ones I'm performing. Push back gently if my answers sound like what I think I should say rather than what I actually feel.
Help me find the 1-2 identity shifts that would change the most about how I live day to day.